Do you ever feel like something is missing?
No, I’m not talking about that Monday meeting that left you needing carbs covered in cheese!
we often notice the gaps when life challenges us
There are times in life when we recognise there is some vacant space that needs filling in order for us to make progress.
- It may be a gap in our qualifications that needs work for us to advance our career.
- Or an absence in our relationships where we’re seeking something deeper and more fulfilling.
- And sometimes we have a health challenge that highlights all kinds of gaps – in our knowledge; in our motivation to get better; gaps in the right help we need to make progress.
When life throws a challenge at us, the gaps in our support network become very acute.
I remember this feeling from when I was sick with chronic fatigue and leaky gut syndrome: many people doubted I was even ‘really’ sick, and my real friends were well intentioned but not equipped to really help me.
Friends can be a source of great strength and encouragement.
But they often don’t have the knowledge or skills to help you fully.
They are also having their own life experience and this affects the way they view you – projecting their own lives onto you, often with good intentions and sometimes not. It’s not their fault, we all do it!
It can be hard to find impartial, practical, emotionally supportive advice in your regular life.
I got lucky. I had a boss who was rather like a health coach and this was my first introduction to being helped by someone who knew things I didn’t know.
Every week or so he would ask me about my health; my thoughts about an article he’d sent me; had I been practising the breathing exercise he suggested, etc.
It kept me on top of my game because I didn’t want to say, “No I haven’t done that.”
There was a sense of positive accountability that I had not experienced on my own.
It also opened my eyes to the benefits of being coached in a regular, focused format.
I come from a working class background, and the idea of paying someone to help me with my health and happiness felt frivolous and selfish! I had never invested in just myself before then and I had a lot of guilt around the idea.
Who do I think I am, something special?
How can I justify spending money on myself for this when I can just google anything I need?
And so that’s what I did:
- I joined online forums for gluten sensitivity and chronic fatigue
- I googled gluten free foods
- I joined the celiac society.
And a year later I was a walking catalogue of every gluten free product on the supermarket shelves, I was depressed from reading online forums and I was no healthier.
I felt like I had walked around in a big circle for a year when I could have just made the investment and walked a much more direct and fruitful path. Doh!
I remember the first coaching session that I paid for.
I remember the sense of relief from realising that I had been walking around in this circle judging myself:
For not being knowledgeable enough;
For not being motivated enough;
For not being able to ‘fix myself’ on my own.
I remember the relief of talking to someone who accepted what I said about my health, life and fears and didn’t start each reply with, “oh you should do this,” or “don’t be silly!”
It felt so much more collaborative than that.
Gentle but positive.
I knew that this collaboration would get me to my goals quicker and more efficiently than any combination of doing it on my own, help from well-meaning friends and forums.
And truly it was the best decision I ever made. Not only for my health but for my life in general, because I was able to make changes in my diet; how I organise my life; in my career; relationships with others; re-connecting with my creativity and other things that make me light up.
Three years on, I help women who are feeling as crappy about their health and their life as I was, to take practical and fun steps every day toward their goals.
:: Whether that goal is cutting out bread because you know it bloats you
:: Or never wanting another debilitating migraine
:: Or getting your blood sugars to healthy levels or planning a meal strategy that will keep you energised alongside a hectic job…
:: Or even if you can’t think straight enough to even know what your goals should be!
Why not take a step out of your comfort zone and arrange a complimentary Health Barrier Breakthrough Session with me.
It will only cost you the time it takes – about 30 minutes – and it could save you a lot of walking around in circles.
Believe me, I know this from personal experience!